Monday, May 7, 2012

One Step Forward Two Steps Back?

Hi Everyone - I'm sorry I have been absent from the blog for so long. I've had a rough two days and so I thought I'd share my state of mind with you all. My wife is away - she returns today - and yesterday I was supposed to make a relatively short drive to help a friend with some recycling. However, I was only a short way into the drive - into an area I had never been -- and I started feeling anxious and so I turned around. Of course, then I spent the rest of the day worrying about how to "fix" the problem I had created by not completing my drive. I did eventually get that taken care of but I still feel bad about it. Today I am supposed to drive to the airport -- about a 20 minute drive in no traffic, longer - much longer - if there is traffic -- to pick up my wife. I don't have to leave for another 4 hours or so but I'm already feeling anxious and I just left a VM for my wife telling her I wouldn't be able to make it. Now I feel almost sick to my stomach worrying about her getting my messages and sure that she'll be upset with me and hoping she checks her VM and doesn't stand around the airport waiting for me. I feel like I haven't had to really "deal" with my anxiety and so I had the false impression that I was doing better but yesterday and today have made me realize that I'm not doing better.. but the trouble is I'm not sure how to move forward and work through some of this anxiety.