Heal

This is a poem I wrote at some point "early" in my days of dealing with anxiety. Since I'm approaching 8 years of dealing with panic attacks I'm not sure how I define "early" but I know this poem was written at some point prior to 2005 and so it was somewhere between 0 and 3 years "in".
Heal

Sometimes I feel like

I want to heal

the world

Sometimes it seems like

I can do anything

But then sometimes

I realize

that I’m human

and I can’t do

anything.

I lie awake in my bed

curled up like an infant

wanting to leave

it all

behind

I cry out to you

but I’m not sure

you hear

I want you to hold

me

but I’m not sure

you care

I’m shaking

now

I’m not awake

now

but my sleep

doesn’t offer me

peace

Dreams are nightmares

a focusing of my

thoughts

into a light beam

I don’t want

to see.

I remember writing this poem after reading the latest blog entry of Panicking Teen (http://panickingteen.blogspot.com/2011/05/memory-lane.html?showComment=1304390356024#c628135663217544078)