Friday, July 8, 2011

End of Day 2

I spoke to my boss over the phone today and he was very understanding and supportive of my anxiety issues which was a nice relief. My old boss knew about my issues but I don't believe he had let anyone know so when he changed positions and I started reporting to the new boss I wasn't sure who knew what.

I still feel bad about not getting to the office, and I realize that I have to be at the office for meetings, etc. unless its a pre-arranged "work from home" day. I get more stressed from the potential repercussions of the anxiety.

It is ironic that I would feel more comfortable if I had the car to drive too and from work since my anxiety started out as a driving anxiety. I guess I could consider my anxiety "travel" anxiety.. Getting from here to there is stressful.. Crowded buses or subways, traffic, planes.. even elevators (although not so much recently). Basically if it moves me from point A to point B it causes me anxiety.

I wonder why that is? I should talk to my therapist about that more. I had always thought it was the fear of feeling trapped -- or not in control. Hmmm.

So I ended up having a productive day work wise and then I watched some TV and the start of the Mets game (they are playing on the west coast so it was a late start.) But now its 11:05pm and I'm a bit wired. I know if I try to go to sleep I'll just toss and turn and so I'm sitting at my computer writing this blog post, trying to decide what to do next.

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