Saturday, June 4, 2011

Anticipatory Anxiety

I'm supposed to meet some friends in NYC around 7pm tonight for karaoke. I'm meeting up with people I played touch football with and the get together was actually my idea. However, I'm feeling a bit anxious about the whole thing. I believe the anxiety is mostly because Pam is on Long Island at her Mom's as opposed to here in Brooklyn with me. Even if Pam were here she most likely would not be joining me at karaoke but I would feel better for two reasons -- one, she would be here and reachable if I "needed" her and two, I could drive. 

Of course, she is still reachable - she has her cell and I can call her. I can also can any of the many others who know about my anxiety and have offered to "be there" for me. But I think having her physically here would make me feel better before leaving.

And driving would be nice on one level but on the other hand, if I don't drive I can have a cocktail or two and not worry about the effects of the alcohol as I would have to worry if I drove.

I know myself well enough to know that this anxiety is not new or unusual and that once I get to the bar and meet up with my friends I'll most likely be fine. However, I am considering taking a med before I leave our apartment. And speaking of meds - I need to do another blog post about the new psychiatrist I started seeing and the meds he put me on.


  1. The same thing actually happened to me with my adoption day party- the karaoke party. Chucky just wasn't there of me even though he was reachable and towards the end I was about to have an attack... How did it end up going for you? Did you get through?

  2. It went well.. I had a lot of fun - I knew I would once I got there. I ended up taking a Xanax about 30 minutes before I left and that relaxed me enough to make it out. Once I got there my friends were already there and we had a blast - I was ou until almost 2am!