Sunday, March 20, 2011
The Embarrassment Factor
Another issue I struggle with related to anxiety is embarrassment. Should I have an anxiety attack in front of a group of strangers -- say on a subway or airplane -- I will be very self conscious about the how thing. This factors greatly into my anticipatory anxiety syndrome -- I fear not only the anxiety attack but the feeling of becoming the center of attention in a bad way. (Although I've never liked attracting attention to myself, even "good" attention) And then I have to deal with what I feel is post-anxiety embarrassment -- like admitting to people that I had an anxiety attack and didn't go to Aruba. I'm not so much concerned with those closest to me but rather "in between" people -- my neighbors, my co-workers, people on my touch football team. For those who know nothing about my anxiety do I lie and tell them I went on the trip? Or if I see them before my scheduled return what do I say about why I'm home?