Tuesday, April 19, 2011

More on Thunderstorms

This was written shortly after I moved in with my friend PJ (“Peej” as I called him) to a house I bought but before I started dating Diana so this would have been sometime in mid-1995. Diana and I started dating in late July of 1995. Robby Stein was the therapist my Mom brought me to see when I was in grade school and who I saw for a few months because I was having such anxiety about thunderstorms that I was missing (or wanting to miss) a lot of school. The wedding I’m referring to is my friend Chris from college. I asked Diana to go to the wedding with me – the wedding was in Buffalo. I asked her partly because I wanted a “date” but also because she and I had dated in high school and she knew about my thunderstorm issues.

I'm really beginning (or not really beginning, but deeply into) digressing with T-Storms. Last night, for example, I left here at 12:30am because of visible lightning // sounds of thunder to sleep at Ma & Pa's.. not a good sign.. I think what's getting to me is, well, several things -- first, the move.. as Robby Stein remarked once before, the fears seem to crop up during periods of transition.. and this is definitely one.. I mean, I own a house for god's sake.. but suddenly things have changed -- I haven't been doing the yard work, mostly because the god damn weather has been too hot, but I'm just not up to it.. and then this whole thing with Chris' wedding.. sometimes I think about the trip and I'm like -- it's no big deal, but other times I look at the map and I'm scared.. scared mostly because the trip is drawing ever nearer and the weather pattern seems to be staying the same.. I'm gonna be a fucking wreak if we have storms, etc.. especially on the drive, which I'm not to psyched about to begin with... I've thought about calling Robbie Stein for some quick treatments.. basically give him this.. I don't know what it is about me.. last night, for example, Peej was home.. I was okay the other night when he was here.. but maybe it was the not-knowing factor -- radar showed nothing (as is the case tonight) and so I was like -- where is this fucking lighting coming from ?? and I'm still wondering..

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