Tuesday, April 19, 2011

What About Thunderstorms?

The three paragraphs below were written either in late 1992 when I was back at school and there was still summer type weather (thunderstorms) or else in May of 1993 before school had ended for the year.

And what about thunderstorms? Why am I so frightened of them? What happened to me during my childhood that put this profound fear into me? I don't remember always being afraid of them. I don't ever remember being worried about the weather. Was it little league? Maybe that game we started to play in a thunderstorm and then it was finally called off? Or the other one we played down by John Marshall when it started to thunder and suddenly I felt sick.. Was that before, after, or during the time I was in 6th grade and I had this fear of nuclear war? It must have been during that time. When I was in fifth grade and we had the bad storm the day the ambulance came for show and tell and we were all getting ready to go home, standing by the windows packing our bags and the thunder cracked and people dove out of the way of the window because the thunder was so loud. But I remember helping Mariano with reading science before we were getting ready to leave and being scared about the weather, but dealing with it. That was in Miss Zay's fifth grade class. I mean, I can rationalize to myself that nothing is going to happen - especially here in New York, but still I wonder about them three days in advance.

So we had some thunderstorms the other night and I knew they were coming, although in my heart I didn't think they would, just like they never do, and they did! But I was okay. At first I was a little nervous but then it ended and it was no big deal! Can I do that this summer? I was home so I was okay. What if I hadn't been? But what's the difference?

So this summer (1992) we had some T-Storms while I was at work an I dealt with them.. Am I finally over it?

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