Sunday, November 7, 2010

Weekend Trip

I traveled to Long Island this weekend to see my parents. As I mentioned in my opening post of this blog, my father had most of his left leg amputated a few months ago and is, unfortunately, still in physical therapy. I had not been to see my parents in almost a month and so my wife and I felt it was a good weekend to make the trip. We had planned the trip a few weeks ago - before my anxiety had flared up to its current level. Not that we really had much to "plan" -- the ride is a little over two hours and we stay at my parents. Had we decided on Friday to not go (or, just decided last minute TO go) it wouldn't have been a big deal.

All that being said, however, it was a big deal. For me at least. You see, this past week was particularly difficult for me anxiety wise. I made it to work okay on Monday but ended up working from home Tuesday and Wednesday because of anxiety. Thursday, after yet another failed attempt to make the short trip from Brooklyn to NYC my nerves were so frayed that I told my boss I was taking Thursday and Friday off to get my self together.

So when Saturday morning rolled around and we were preparing to head out I was a bundle of nerves. I had taken a klonopin shortly after I got up but was still feeling very nervous. I was able to calm myself down however, by talking to my wife about how I was feeling. I realize that one of the things I have not been doing well recently in terms of my anxiety is opening up to Pam about my mental state. 

Now that we made the trip and I didn't have any issues on the drive in either direction I am feeling good about this coming week. Pam is not traveling for work at all so she will be able to accompany me on the subway each morning to work. I'm hopeful that at some point in the week I will be able to take the subway myself -- perhaps not all the way home, but at least for a stop or two. I want to set small reachable goals for myself to accomplish.

Pam and I are also planning to start taking walks after work. Another thing that I realize I have not been doing is exercising. I had been very busy with work and so when I would arrive home I would plop on the couch in front of the TV. I had forgotten how good I feel after exercising and so I'm again hopeful that reintroducing exercise into my daily routine will help me with my anxiety also.

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